Sometimes it feels like I have best friends who don’t know I exist.
I put in the time to see them, listen to the stories they tell, and send them messages to let them know I care. Historically, these friendships don’t last but I think somehow, with these ones, we’re in it for the long haul. Even if they don’t know it.
I’ll confess, this year I have made some close friends. I’d like to introduce you to three of my best friends.
They never call or text, but we’re close. They’re available to open their lives when I need them. I know the foods they like, pets they have, and some of their hobbies. I know they are my best friends because I talk about them in conversations with other friends. They’ve taught me about how to style bangs, the best kind of toys for my preschooler, and have helped me with motivation when I want to quit and just lie in bed. I feel lucky that they don’t care that I’m in a totally different time zone or that I may not have makeup or pants on.
Cody Rigsby of Peloton in my Spare Room
I “met” my best friend Cody in March of 2019. Cody is one of the spin instructors for Peloton. When I started spinning at home, I had no idea I’d make friends. I figured I’d get stronger legs and finally learn how to clip out of the finger-trap-like shoes.
I can only assume Cody would also agree that we connected over his entertaining stories. He tells them, I laugh out loud and talk to the screen. Cody parties and sweats with me in a refreshing throwback to my love of 1990s/ 2000s music. Since I’m not going to the salon to get my hair done and read US Weekly, Cody fills me in on my trashy pop culture needs.
Cody and I sing and dance together to Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, and Lady Gaga. I see him sometimes 4 times a week, which is 4 more times a week than I see any other friend at this point. When I hang out with Cody, his energy is contagious and I don’t feel like a mid-30s mom *quite* so much. I know he really means it when he says, “Get your life together, Boo!” I’m trying!
Susie Allison of @Busy Toddler on Instagram
Susie tells it like it is. But she’s also perky. It’s a good combo for your BFF. Susie is a having-fun-with-kids-expert and a not-let-them-destroy-everything expert. She shows me when her house is a mess and how she is sometimes bad at organizing, too. Y’all know that is a real friend.
Susie and I have become good friends through our mutual love of sensory bins and easy activities for small children. In college, I worked in a child development lab that taught me about rice or water in a sensory bin, but my best friend Susie has opened my eyes. I now do shaving cream, pom-poms, pine cones, or pretty much anything that fits in my bin. My kids are happy that Susie and I are so close because they now get to have this magical thing called a Popsicle bath where they get to eat popsicles IN THE BATH!
MY BFF Susie keeps me laughing, and I know I’m doing OK because she is open about not doing OK. Susie and I would have the best time at lunch, and I blame it on the pandemic that it has never happened. Nevermind the fact that she is unaware of my existence…someday Susie!
Laurel Bristow aka @kinggutterbaby on Instagram
Laurel and I are BFFS that “met” in March. We were introduced by a dear mutual friend (someone linked to her on Instagram, and I can’t remember who it was because March 2019 was 1,000 years ago). My best friend Laurel is an Infectious Disease Researcher who works at Emory University’s Vaccine Center. She is changing my world with science, motorcycles, explaining coronavirus headlines, and a recent killer bang tutorial. Laurel is chipper, wicked smart, funny, and explains Covid and pandemic problems in a way that helps me understand and generally doesn’t freak me out.
Sunday afternoon is Covid Comedown with Laurel. She gives all her friends a chance to ask her questions, so long as they are not about COVID, and entertains us all as we prepare for another week of various levels of pandemic dread.
Sometimes I am a bad friend and forget Laurel’s name. I call my sister, “Hey, did you hear what King Gutter Baby said about her Axolotl and how she put her in the fridge?” Then I have to clarify that I’m talking about my Instagram bud and yes, Rose is ok and did come out of the fridge just fine.
You know how you want a friend who will pump you up and tell you how great you look before going out, but also who will be honest with you and not let you buy terrible clothes? Laurel is that friend. I’m just positive.
Turns out I’m not the only one who has deep unrequited friendships. Our co-owner Amie is quite close with one of everyone’s favorite internet families.
Here is a recent conversation she had:
- Me: “Did you see what Penn posted yesterday?? It was hilarious!”
- Normal person: “who’s Penn?”
- Me: “You know, Penn Holderness. married to Kim, has two great kids and adorable dog. Lives in the Carolinas and hates cauliflower rice and everything pumpkin spice… Penn!”
- Normal person:* silence*
One of our contributors, Heather, has a longtime BFF Ree Drummond, and shares:
“I did meet her once at a cookbook signing, but I doubt she remembers me. Still, I talk about her husband, kids, and sweet father in law as if they live next door. I visited her lodge and thought it was strange that all these ‘tourists’ were there in my friend’s home, pretending as if they knew her as well as I did”
I’m looking forward to reconnecting more soon with my in-person friends, but I plan to keep things going with my virtual best friends. They have been a bright spot for me, and I don’t even mind the one-sided friendship. I may not be their best friends, but they are definitely some of mine.
I was very intrigued by the first part of this and had to read more! You had me cracking up explaining how you “met” your BFFs! Too funny. Kind of true for all of us!!
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