We may not always admit it, but we need girlfriends in our life.
It’s chilling to think what sort of woman I would be, mother I would be and the romantic relationship I’d have (or still be in) if it weren’t for my girlfriends. Were it not for the amazing women in my circle, I might have entirely different clothing styles, tastes in music, or could be sitting in a jail cell! Kidding (sort of)!
Making and maintaining friendships is really difficult as an adult, but even more exhausting when you’re a military wife.
We can get last-minute PCS orders at any minute. Our time together may be brief. But the beauty in constantly moving is your heart finds new meaning when it comes to friendships, and a part of you will always be with those people.
The depth of my friendships is summed up in this quote, ‘You will never be completely at home again- because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.’
Here are the four types of girlfriends you need in your tribe:
Your Past Life Girlfriends
Marriage and motherhood are all-consuming, and sometimes they leave you wondering if you ever existed before meal planning and diaper changes. My Past Life Girlfriends are the ones that have known me through the days of drinking and partying, bad-college-decisions, and terrible outfits. They’re the ones that have held my hair when I was sick from a long-night out, answered my 2am calls, and dragged me to a girls-night-out when my long-term boyfriend and I called it quits. They’re the girlfriends who have been to everything from my 21st birthday to my wedding and even my baby shower. They’re the women that I cry with when tragedy hits. They are the ones that call me at all hours of the day because our time zones are different and that sends my kids gifts just because. They’re the ones that have watched me grow and evolve from the young impressionable girl I once was, into the woman who now has a husband and kids.
These are the girlfriends that remind me that I once was and am still a lot more than just Mom.
Your First Military Girlfriends
Military friendships are weird. Oftentimes you’re not in the same place in life; you probably wouldn’t be friends if it hadn’t been for the military; you initially don’t even have that much in common. Your First Military Girlfriends are the type you need but aren’t necessarily the obvious choice. They’re the ones that have different perspectives than you, the ones that God put together and said this might not make sense but it’ll be perfect. These girlfriends helped me through my husband’s first two deployments. They were the ones that were pregnant at the same time as I was or the first ones that I called (and still do) for advice when my kids are acting crazy. These women are the ones that I call when I need prayer, the ones I share my heart with, and the ones I know I can always be honest and vulnerable with. They show up, time and time again. They’re the friends that gave meaning to the word village, the ones that set the bar so outrageously high that they have ruined all other friendships.
They’re the girlfriends that have survived the test of time and distance, and they are always a “see you later”.
Your How-Did-I-Live-Without-You Girlfriends
The richest friendships that have I have found are the ones that happened seemingly overnight. They’re the ones that I look back on and can’t quite remember how we became such fast friends. Friendships where both your husbands get along, you both get along, AND they love your kids are hard to find! So when you find them, hold on to them tight.
My How-Did-I-Live-Without-You Girlfriends are the ones that happened so quickly and so seamlessly that it was almost like our souls were long-time friends. They are the girlfriends that drop everything to drive across the country with you when you get last-minute PCS orders. They are the ones that call almost every day and that without question will take your kids when you have doctor appointments. They’ve been the friends that checked in on my husband and kids when I was in the hospital, the ones that have loved my family like their own, and the ones that fly your husband out to where you are when they knew you needed him. They’re the ones that know what my kids like to eat, recognize when they have a new shirt or haircut, and the ones that call when they know I’m upset, even though I just said I was fine.
These girlfriends are my biggest fans, and their souls have known mine for a long time.
Your Hardest-See-You-Later Girlfriends
See you laters are just a part of military life that everyone adapts to over the years. Your goodbyes become calloused as they become part of your normal. There are many friends you say, “see you later” to but in your heart, you know they’re more of a goodbye.
But there are also the friends that you say goodbye to knowing that it’s only a see you later. My Hardest-See-You-Later Girlfriends are the ones that have become our duty station family. These are the people that we shared every holiday, every celebration, and every weekend with. They’re the friendships that don’t require knocking on the door before you walk in. These girlfriends become best friends with your parents and love your kids like their own; they become so much like family that you share more meals together than you do apart! They’re the ones you talk about visiting before you even leave, and the ones you make an effort to see once they’ve PCS’ed.
They’re the hardest “see you laters” because even though you know you will see them again, it’s hard to say goodbye to family.
Making friends isn’t as easy as it once was, but every girl needs these girlfriends.
Every mom needs a village. They are the lifeline that keeps you sane and grounded. They’re also the people you can count on no matter what’s happening in your life. The military brings challenges when it comes to keeping friends, but there are always some you meet along the way that is worth keeping. I hope you are lucky enough to find these girlfriends somewhere in your lifetime; I’m glad I have.
