“Sorry about my legs. I was running late and I didn’t have time to shave,” I confessed to my massage therapist.
“That’s ok,” she said with a shrug. “It doesn’t bother me.”
I’d like to say that I took her at her word, set my worries aside, and enjoyed my relaxing massage but that is not how this over-analyzing people-pleaser’s mind works.
Does it matter? Is she just saying that? Is she totally grossed out? Does she secretly hate me?
Instead, my 50 minutes of what should have been guilt-free indulgent bliss was wrecked with self-doubt, condemnation, and enough thoughts to warrant this ridiculous blog post.
I had to get to the bottom of this. I needed answers. I wanted the professionals in my life to stop biting their tongues and to speak up and be heard!
So, after consulting with a number of friends who are professionals in their varying fields, here you have it – 10 things professionals wish they could say to you but won’t because they’re, well, professional!
- Dental Hygienist Have you ever wondered what they’re thinking back there behind that mask and those goggles? “Don’t bother lying, we can tell that you don’t floss. Also, your saliva does not become poisonous when you sit in our chair; it’s OK to swallow.”OK, then. Good to know!
- 1st Grade TeacherWho wouldn’t want to spend 7 hours a day with our little darlings? What could a teacher possibly have to say?“I can tell the difference between when your child does her homework and when YOU do her homework. Also, let’s make a deal. I’ll believe about half of what your child says about you if you agree to only believe about half of what your child says about me.”
It made sense to me that a lot of my nurse friends wanted to weigh in on this one. After all, nurses are some of the most overworked and underpaid professionals out there, right along with teachers. And they have to deal with lots of gross/stressful/life-altering stuff while keeping their cool.“Stop googling! Dr. Google doesn’t equal my years of school and my INSTINCT, however I will listen to what you have to say because it’s important to you and you took your time to learn about your health, just don’t believe everything you read off the internet.”
“And just because you are used to being spoiled by Tricare/Military health insurance does NOT mean you are entitled to every treatment/medication/surgery you want or your friend’s cousin’s wife had. People on the outside have to fight insurance companies for YEARS sometimes, even for necessary or needed medical care. Having insurance that is reputable for being far more lenient with their policies does not mean you’re automatically entitled to the care you want. You get the care that you need. “Fair enough. But Google did say that other treatment would be better for me … just sayin’.
- Emergency Room Nurse
“Do not be upset that you have been sitting in the waiting room longer than that person who was just called back. Trust me, you don’t want to be that person.”
It’s all about perspective.
- OBGYN Nurses
Talk about some professionals that see some crazy stuff!“I don’t care about unshaved legs or unpainted toes, I’m just focused on keeping you and baby healthy and alive.”Awwww, thank you! We love you!
Also OBGYN Nurses
No, I can’t help you remove your rings from your unmentionable places.
These folks definitely deal with more “public” than most. On any given day, they probably exchange words with hundreds or even thousands of people.“Please do not pull sweaty cash out of your bra and expect me to take it with my bare hands.”Apparently it’s not the words they’re exchanging that are the problem. Ewww.
- Customer/Tech SupportTechnical support phone calls are highly stressful and frustrating on both ends.”If you’re going to send in a message that you are getting an error, for the love of everything holy, please say WHAT error you are getting, and what you were doing or trying to do when you got the error message. Screenshots are really helpful. ‘I got an error’ tells us NOTHING.”
- Chick-fil-A Employee
We love the courteous, smiling, always helpful staff at every Chick-fil-a we have ever visited. What do they wish that they could say?“It’s not always my pleasure to serve you, but it is my job.”I KNEW it!!
- Event Planner
This was a new one for me because I don’t spend a lot of time hobnobbing in high society, but I can imagine that this must be extremely frustrating.”I’m sorry, you said you ‘can’t’ sit with that person?? Do you think this is adult kindergarten?”
But she started it!
Annnnnnnddddd….. last but not least….. the answer we’ve all been waiting for…..
- Massage TherapistDoes it matter? Do our hairy legs gross them out? Are they counting our moles? Are they judging our pedicures?”A bad tattoo may freak me out but hair, moles, and stinky feet- not so much. However, if you smoke before your session and we are stuck in a tiny room together, I will gag. So, don’t do that.”
Oh, for the love. Now I can actually rest during my next massage and hopefully you can, too.