We all have our embarrassing gaffes or mistakes; those stories that make us cringe. We let time pass and hope that the years will help us forget those moments.
But when these things happen in the military, they tend to stick with you for a while longer.
For a large community, the military can feel very small – and everyone seems to have an embarrassing military moment! Here is one of mine:
My husband was promoted early in the morning at one drill weekend. He was in the Army Reserve and in a unit about an hour away. The distance made it difficult to connect with spouses in his unit. I met people generally once a year at the ball or dining out, and that was the extent of our connection. So when I did socialize or interact with his Army people, I tried to remember who was who and how to be a reasonable adult.
The promotion ceremony was in December, and I was due with our first daughter in January. I got up around 5:30 am, stuffed my ready-to-pop self in some over-worn maternity clothes, and made the drive to College Station. I have always felt uneasy in military ceremonies where everyone looks sharp and knows what to do while I stand there as the awkward civilian hoping I don’t screw things up.
That morning, with everyone in formation, someone called me up to pin my husband.
Because it was the Headquarters Company of the Brigade, the General was there every weekend. I am usually not ruffled by rank, but I was a little nervous.
First I changed his patch. Not too hard, right? Next, someone handed me the pin for his new rank for his hat. I was holding the pin carefully hoping I wouldn’t drop it, and heaven forbid, would have to bend down in that uncomfortable end of pregnancy way. As my husband stood at attention in front of 120 soldiers, I struggled and wrestled to push the pin through the hat.
The General saw me struggling and said quietly, “Just push it in.”
“Easy for you to say,” I replied under my breath, jamming the pin through the tough fabric. Did I actually just say this to the General???
I finally rammed the pin through the fabric and attached the dammit on the other side while my husband stood stiffly. I don’t know why I muttered it, but my filter was definitely decreasing the last month of pregnancy.
When I met my husband after, I laughed about how I couldn’t get the pin in. My biggest feeling was relief. His biggest feeling was that I was lucky to be a civilian and was surprised with my confidence and joked that I was snarky and mouthed off to the General.
Later that night I met the General again at the company’s Dining Out. I was embarrassed. My hope was that he didn’t remember the mouthy lady from early that morning, but in all likelihood, he remembered but was gracious. He came to our table, introduced himself, and said, “Hi, I’m Michael.” When he walked away, I remarked how nice he was. My husband replied, “Yes, he’s very nice. But he’s never Michael, always General.”
When I reflect on my awkward moments in military situations, I like to know I have some company.
I know I can’t be the only one. I asked some of my military friends and our Military Moms Blog team to help me out and share some of their embarrassing moments. Have no fear, they delivered!
- When my husband was promoted to 1st Lieutenant, it was very informal with only four people there. The guy promoting him handed me the new Velcro rank patch and told me to “punch” it on to my husband. So I did. I literally punched him in the chest. I was 24, newly married, and had hardly any idea why I was invited to my husband’s “work thing” anyway. Everyone kind of laughed. Live and learn!
- As a brand new Public Affairs Airman, I was interviewing someone for the first time. I was nervous about mispronouncing their name; I kept repeating in my head. I went to introduce myself … and instead of using my name, I used theirs.
- I got confused one time at Technical School and saluted with my left hand. Oops!
- I was pulled over on base for not stopping for a full 10 seconds at a stop sign. I stopped, but not for 10 seconds. THREE cop cars pulled up behind me and made me sweat it out for 35 mins (while the kids were screaming and crying, mind you). It was on the main drag of the only entrance during morning rush hour on a small base. EVERYONE we knew passed my car, saw me there, and texted my husband to ask what I did to warrant three cops to pull me over. The best part? When it was wrapping up, one of the cops came up to my window and apologized for taking up so much of my time. He told me, “This is a new guy and he needs practice writing tickets.” Good thing we PCS’d the following week because I couldn’t bear to show my face on that base again!
- I got married and changed my name. I needed to wear my blues before my new name tag was in. I tried looking up another person on the global list to borrow their name tag and ended up looking up myself.
- As a brand new Marine, we had been taught, “If it’s shiny, salute.” In the Navy, Chiefs (enlisted) have shiny emblems on their dress uniforms. I checked into a joint school and was saluting chiefs for a few days before someone informed me. The Chiefs there had it happen all the time and just saluted back because they thought it was funny.
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? Rachel Carpenter My active-duty husband was Airborne and would jump in the poppy fields a short drive from our house in Italy. I drove my young daughters out to watch them jump and to greet their dad after he landed. It was a hot August day, and my 2-year-old daughter was going through a naked phase. As I was gazing up at the sky, trying to spot my husband, she had stripped completely down to a diaper, in front of every soldier, airman, and family member there. Even better, as I was convincing her to put said clothes back on, she spotted her dad walking back. She took off half-naked, happy as can be. A memorable jump for all of us!
Maybe you’re super chill and are sailing through this military life with constant grace. But know if you aren’t, we’ve all got your back through these sometimes embarrassing and awkward moments. You can sit with us.
Tell us your embarrassing or awkward military moments!
