Motherhood is wonderful, joyful, difficult, stressful, and amazing all at the same time.
Do you know what else it is? Gross. Yep, being a mom can be gross sometimes. Who am I kidding? A lot of the time!
Last week I was teaching an acting class when I noticed one of the students had gum in her mouth (This is one of my biggest pet peeves while teaching. Gum in acting class is a big no!). So I asked my student to get rid of her gum. She then pointed out that there was no trash can in the room, and she didn’t have a Kleenex or anything to spit it out in. I walked up to her, held out my hand, and told her to spit her gum into my palm.
“Are you sure, Miss Leah? That’s gross.”
I assured her I meant it, and she then spit the gum into my hand. I simply placed it on a small piece of paper and set it down to throw away later.
The looks the students gave me at that point were hilarious. The kids made comments like, “That’s so disgusting” and “Why did you do that.” I looked at each of them and said this:
“I am a mom. I have been puked on, peed on, pooped on, had snot wiped all over me, and have had to clean up my kids’ nasty messes. A piece of chewed up gum in my hand is nothing.”
They were all quiet after that. HA!
Yeah, mom life is messy, gross, disgusting, and any other synonym that goes along with these. And we all know it.
It starts as soon as they are born. Literally, as soon as they are born when that nasty, sticky, black meconium is passed. And it just continues after that. There’s the smelly spit up, of course. Then the massive poopy diapers and blowouts that get EVERYWHERE. And you can’t keep the onesies after those blowouts. You just throw those suckers right in the trash! Nasty. Am I right?
As your children grow, the disgustingness continues. Nothing says gross like sitting down on the toilet only to realize your son (who was in there before you) was being lazy that day and neglected to put the seat UP, dripping pee all over the seat. Pee that you just sat on. And, speaking of toilets, if you’re a boy mom, you know that having to clean the bathroom is one of the most disgusting jobs. Especially when they are young and learning to aim.
Of course, we all know throw-up is gross. No one wants to go near that mess! But we have to, don’t we? When I got married I was really hoping my husband would handle things in this department. But then we had kids, and I quickly discovered he can’t handle vomit. So it has become my duty to deal with it. Oh, joy. You know what’s even worse than handling throw-up for one kid?
When all of your children and your husband have a stomach bug at the same time.
Yeah. That was a fun few days. Passing the throw-up bucket from person to person, constantly cleaning the bathroom floor and throw-up bucket, changing them out of vomit-soaked clothes, the smell of it …ugh. Here’s hoping that doesn’t happen again!
Then there are those days when you’re walking through the grocery store and your kid decides to wipe his snotty nose all over your shirt. Or his. Or both. Either way, one of you is now a snotty mess that needs to be cleaned up. Then you realize his nose still needs to be wiped but you are out of Kleenex. No worries, a panty liner will work just fine to wipe that snotty little nose.
Yes, motherhood is beautiful, isn’t it?