The Top 5 Reasons Why I Love TDYs


I love my husband. My kids love my husband, too. My favorite times are when we are all at home together talking over dinner, cuddled up watching a movie, or taking a long walk. I’d rather have him home with us every night than not.

But … I also love when my husband has to go on a temporary duty assignment. I am not talking near-constant TDYs where he is gone a few weeks per month. I am not talking about long deployments and remote tours.

I am talking about temporary duty to a safe place when he has been home for a while, and I want to do my favorite TDY things.

Is this normal? To have favorite TDY things? Do most military spouses have favorite TDY things?

Here are my top 5 favorite things to do when my husband is gone for a few days.

I can sleep like a starfish.

I am talking middle-of-the-bed, sprawled out, every single pillow in use by … me. When he is home, I try to be considerate and share the covers and not breathe my horrendous morning breath in his face, but when he is gone, I am all over the place.

I don’t cook.

I love cooking. I love trying new recipes and finding inventive ways to cook old favorites, so they are healthy and appetizing. A lot of times, my husband and I are the only ones who eat these meals. My kids would rather have grilled cheese or frozen chicken nuggets. In general, I try to encourage them to try the new foods and eat plenty of vegetables, but when my husband is TDY, I don’t fight it. I cook them something easy that makes relatively few dishes for me to was and that I know we won’t have to fight about.

I binge watch TV.

My husband and I have extraordinarily different taste in television shows and movies. Sometimes we’ll find something we both love (thank you. “The Office”!), but usually we don’t agree. I am currently in graduate school, so I spend most evenings reading and writing, and my husband watches his shows or does his own work. However, when he is gone, all bets are off. I am streaming “The Crown,” “Poldark,” “This Is Us,” and any other show I want while eating chocolate chips straight from the bag. Of course, I can watch these when he is home, but when he is gone, it feels extra indulgent.

The house can stay messy.

My husband is neat and tidy. He is organized and efficient. I am more chaotic and cluttered. When he is home, I try to clean up my crafting projects and piles of paper with regularity, so I don’t give him a panic attack. But when he is traveling, I spread my fabric and yarn and thread all over the place. If I am not done working on a project, I leave it whereever I want until I get to it again.

I stay up way too late.

He likes to go to bed early and get up early. I like to go to bed late and sleep late. We have three kids who need to go to school, though, so I am more in the habit of staying up late and waking up early. And even though I regret it every morning, I love those quiet hours late at night of peace and quiet.

So what about everyone else? What are your favorite things to do while your spouse is gone for a few nights?


  1. I love it! My list is pretty much the same. I still cook a little for my kids, but the leftovers go so much further without my husband home, so it gives me nights off. The kids and I watch TV during dinner since we have no new conversation by that point in the day. I don’t shave. I usually get an extra meal out since I know he never spends his full per diem. I love this bright side approach!

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