How to Hack Your Sex Life (Part 2)


I work with a lot of individuals who struggle with prioritizing sex. Oftentimes, it ends up at the bottom of their to-do list which can lead to relationship struggles. This article explores four more ways you can hack your sex life (because who doesn’t want to push the easy button most days?). If you missed Part 1 of How to Hack Your Sex Life, you can catch that here. 

Hack #5: Supplement Smarter. One time, on a family adventure, I got sucked into an Indian infomercial that promoted Liquid Gold. I honestly have no idea what it was but it sure promised some great results in the bedroom. And that got me thinking. There are actually some natural supplements that naturally boost one’s libido. Now if you hate sex, this will not magically make you love it. But it may increase your libido enough to bump it up a few notches on your to-do list. One of my favorite adaptogens is maca root. This bad boy can be added in powder form to your morning smoothie or can be taken via capsule. Ginkgo biloba and L-arginine are also popular supplements because they help raise nitric oxide levels. Be sure to consult with a medical provider if you think you may be on any medications that could be contraindicated. 

Hack #6: Aphrodisiacs. To be honest, this one is a bit mixed in terms of evidence to support improving your libido. But, I do like including it as a hack because I find that when individuals consume certain foods, it allows them to be more sensual. And sensuality and sexuality are closely related. The more sensual one is, the more likely they are to be sexual. So order that plate of oysters. Say, “yes” to that extra dark piece of chocolate. Load your bowl full of berries. Pair your plate with a beautiful glass of wine (not three; we’re not trying to get inebriated here). And then be present with what you are eating. Feel the textures. Inhale the aromas. Savor those bursting flavors. And see if you notice other parts of you turn on. 

Hack #7: Toys. No, I’m not talking about bringing in Mr. Potato Head. Toys are a great way to get your engine going without having to exert a whole lot of effort. There are thousands of different options which can easily overwhelm someone who is new to this. If you’re not familiar with the array of things that go buzzzz in the night, then I recommend starting with a clitorial vibrator. Stimulating this area with a toy gets the blood flowing and the arousal process jump started. If you’re worried about what your partner will think by introducing a device into your routine, discuss it with them before. A toy can be a hack, a shortcut, just like heating up soup in a microwave instead of on the stove. It’s something to enhance the experience. Nothing anyone needs to feel threatened about. 

Hack #8: Teasing. Building anticipation before you actually get it on is such a great way to make the moment even more explosive. An easy way to do this is by sending flirty (or spicy) messages to each other throughout the day. Send a voice note of what you want your partner to do to you later. Send a pic of what you plan on wearing (or not wearing) when they come home. When they’re home, send a naughty message while you’re making dinner, even if they’re in the other room. Sometimes we forget that sex is meant to be FUN. Let’s make sex fun again! And don’t worry about sounding or looking stupid. Your partner is not going to be thinking about that when you send them something sexy or tell them you can’t wait to explore their body later. 

Hopefully, this article (and Part 1) have given you some inspiration and even simplification for how to hack your sex life. Be open to trying different things out. You can’t get it wrong so have fun seeing what works for you and your partner. And remember, you are deserving of so much pleasure.

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Courtney Boyer
Born and raised in coffee country (looking at you, Seattle), Courtney Boyer is passionate about helping others gain clarity in their lives and relationships so they can live more authentically. After marrying her college sweetheart, she began her career in sexuality education and counseling eventually finding her home in coaching and energy work. Throughout her Army husband’s early military medical career, Courtney stayed at home with their three children, connecting and volunteering with other military spouses. Courtney is the founder of Courtney Boyer Coaching Coaching, a speaker, contributing writer, and running enthusiast. She has never strayed from her coffee roots and enjoys meeting new people over a steaming cup of joe (or glass of red wine). Courtney and her family are currently living the OCONUS life in Germany.


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