Letting Go and Finding God in the Military

Finding God in their adult life was a concern for me when my children left the nest, especially when my son joined the military. My worries changed from wondering if they brushed their teeth before bed to wondering if they remembered to pray that day. I’ve watched many young people wander away from their parents, God included, as they navigated the newfound freedom they gained as they turned into adults. If you are a parent that has not had to walk through that season with your child, consider yourself blessed and please pray for those families currently walking through that season.

Finding God.

Numerous parents have shared, with me, their newfound relationship with God during their child’s military journey – and they worry about the state of their child’s faith while in the military. My heart has sought out other military parents as I walk on this path supporting my son. Each story they tell about their own child, regardless of the military branch, is so like my own. Most stories begin with the state of shock they experience at their child’s decision to join the military. The shock evolves into fear as they entertain what ‘could’ happen – we have all watched way too many movies! Fear escalates to grief once their soldier leaves home/town and tends to spiral from there. Some parents stay in their grief and fear while others turn to something bigger than them that gives them strength.

Grief is the most common shared emotion amongst parents I have talked with – stumbling through the limited communication, coping with them being gone from our homes, learning to move through the holidays without them (I choose to remember a holiday as just a DATE on a calendar; the actual celebration happens when our son is with us), but biggest of all is learning to let go. So many of us have had to turn to our faith to overcome.

Letting go.

Parents will find themselves having to let go many times over during this military journey that their child is on. Telling us to ‘let go and let God’ could result in a negative response or perpetual silent treatment. We become experts at letting go, we do not need reminding. We let go when they shipped out, and again after we hugged them at graduation, then maybe once more after they completed schooling and were given their first assignment. We let go over and over after each visit with them. Our soldiers also must let go simultaneously. Over and over. This military life is like one big game of letting go. Finding God while on this journey is a gift as is growing closer with Him.

Handfuls of soldiers have also shared with their parents/family members that they found peace attending religious services on Sundays while training. There is something powerful about stopping, reflecting, and praying over what has passed and what is coming. Trainees do not have much control over their day-to-day activities but on Sundays, they do. And – they oftentimes choose a religious service to attend. The conversations shared with me also advise of soldiers volunteering at services as a way of giving back. Understand that not all soldiers do this, but it is comforting to know that these services are offered during such a tumultuous time for these young people.

Finding God.

I recently listened to the journey of a fellow military mom (her son is a Marine). She echoed the feelings of so many loved ones. They are absent from our lives temporarily, we cannot see or talk to them as freely as we’d like, yet they are alive and living their journey. Our hearts are left behind. Waiting. Wanting. Yearning to know what all is going on in their lives while they are gone. She and I discussed how we were forced to LEAN IN to our faith in God and LET GO. Little did we know that our soldiers were also leaning into God. Seeking him. Pondering all the things we instilled in them as they grew. All the things we worried about, until God.

So, it’s ok Mama – let go, allow that higher power to fill the spaces that seem void, keep moving forward. Draw closer to God as He draws closer to you, and to your soldier during this beautiful experience. I see you.

Let go.