I have always wanted to be a doctor. I’ve known it for nearly my entire life, outside of a few childhood dreams that were unrealistic or plain made up.
My daughter is artistic where her father and I are scientific in our thoughts. When she grows up, my daughter wants to be a ballerina and own a dance studio. She has said this for years (after she got over wanting to be a pirate princess).
Recently, we were standing in the kitchen. She sweetly asked me if my friends, who are lawyers, PhDs, and doctors, and I would ever think that being a wife and mother would be enough. She needed to know if I would be okay if that was her dream.
I kept fiddling around the kitchen, smiled at her, and said, “Of course.” She tendu’d to the den to be with the rest of our family.
But what I wanted to say was…
My Dearest Daughter,
It is my great honor to be your mother and the wife to your father. I do have a career because I love it, but my greatest achievement has been my family. I know that others might feel differently. They might say that going to school and obtaining advanced degrees has more importance. I must disagree.
I am proud of the things I’ve achieved and know that they make me a better mommy for you. But I never want you to think of motherhood as a ‘just’ or a ‘settling.’
As a mother, you support a new generation. You mold them and help them with all that they can achieve. As a wife, you get to show your children what unrelenting love looks like.
I know that there are walls sometimes put up between mothers who work outside of the home and verses solely inside the home. I hate that.
I hate that we have in-fighting between mothers because our goals are the same: to raise beautiful children.
Some mothers cannot stay at home. They cannot afford it financially or mentally, and that is nothing to shame them for. Some mothers don’t want to stay at home, and that is their choice. Some mothers don’t want to work outside of their home, and why should they? They have enough to do, that’s for sure!
Whatever you decide: to be a wife, a mother, a stay-at-home mom, to have a career…you do your best. That’s what we ask of you. We ask that you do what you are called to unapologetically. We see all that you have the potential to become – all that you can show the world – and we know no matter what you choose, you will make a difference.
My friends have amazing careers, and they are smart and kind and generous. We’re not friends because of our jobs. We all met because we were mothers. We bonded over knowing that we had jobs in this world besides mothering, but we missed you all desperately and supported each other in motherhood and our careers. No matter what you choose, may you have a village that supports you and silences the voices that would bring you down.
In short, my sweet girl, being a wife and mother is enough because just being you is enough.
Love you to the moon and back,
Never Let Other’s Expectations Define Who You Are
May we support each other as mothers, career women, wives, and women. May we live our lives according to our calling unapologetically.