“The time will pass so fast. Just enjoy every minute!”
I call big fat BOLOGNA!!
Are you seriously telling me that I should enjoy rinsing poop out of my three-year-old’s underpants?
I should be whistling a happy tune while scrubbing the make-up off my walls?
I should be in the throes of euphoria while repeating, “JUST PUT YOUR SHOES ON!!” for the millionth time when we are now fifteen minutes late getting out the door?
Or do you think I should be laughing through every moment my baby screamed and there was nothing I could do to comfort him?
Nope. I don’t buy it.
Life is full of all sorts of emotions, and none of them are bad, shameful, or to be avoided. We need to stop telling moms to stuff their feelings.
Instead, let’s tell moms that it’s OK to feel however you feel. That even though this too will pass and everything will be OK, it’s also OK to not enjoy every minute of motherhood.
Let’s tell them…
Your nipples hurt every time that little chomper needs to eat and it sucks.
Your baby will stop crying eventually, and you are not a failure if you feel like ripping your ears off while you wait. It also totally sucks to never have food at the correct temperature because your baby won’t let you eat.
Lack of sleep is the pits! Being a Mombie is miserable. It’s OK to take a nap and serve dinner on paper plates.
Your hormones are totally out of whack, and your emotions may not make sense. Your mental health is as important as your physical health. Get help, therapy, and even medication if you need it.
Don’t bother repainting the walls; they’ll just color on them again. Sorry, you won’t have anything nice that stays that way until you are out of the toddler phase.
Waiting it out is sometimes the best you can do. You’re still a rockstar.
Toddlers who ask the same question for the ninth time are very annoying. It’s OK to be irritated, just try not to be mean when you tell them to please just stop talking.
It’s OK, not to worry about the dead cockroach on the floor before taking a picture to show your husband (and all of social media too) just how much your day is totally sucking.
Give yourself permission to hate this moment.
Cry through it if you need to. Get out for a bit if that’s what it takes. Go ahead and throw that underwear in the trash because you just can’t handle washing one more pair. Eat some chocolate while hiding in your closet.
Then pull up your big girl britches and get back to work. Because it is work. Hard work. It’s rewarding and fulfilling, but that doesn’t make it easy.
Feeding your child can become a joyful bonding experience, whether you breastfeed or bottle feed. Do what works for you.
Your kids will learn to stop coloring on the walls, though they may start wiping boogers on them instead.
That cranky nursling will eventually stop crying and fall asleep.
Hormones will balance, and emotions will stabilize.
Some day, you can have white walls and carpet without the danger of markers or grape juice destroying them.
One day, if you’re really lucky, you’ll get to enjoy the sweet revenge as your child calls you to tell of the escapades of your grandkids. My mom gets lots of these phone calls.
