What I Learned From A Bad Haircut

A woman is looking straight ahead while scissors are above her head
Sadly, this is not me.

I got a bad haircut in December. I’d like to share with you what I learned from the experience.

Nothing. I learned almost nothing.

There is no silver lining except increased empathy for your bad haircuts, past or future. 

While down in the dumps, I did learn and remember that there are a few people who got worse haircuts than me

Monica on Friends 

Remember when Monica begs Phoebe to cut her hair after Phoebe does a great job on the guys’ hair? Phoebe relents, but the mistake of confusing Demi Moore for Dudley Moore is just killer. “This is how he wears it!”


My Husband

When we were very poor in grad school, he got his hair cut at a local barbering school. Haircuts from students were $4. He started getting one from a student, but it was going so poorly they had an instructor come over. Then the instructor jammed the clippers so hard against his head that he started bleeding. Terrible haircut and a wound. all for less than a $5 bill! At least I received no physical wounds from my haircut.

Jerry on Seinfeld

Elaine opens with, “How come you wearin’ a hat?” This could also have been asked of me post haircut. Jerry gets a real bad cut that makes him look goofy just in time for a Bachelor Auction. I am luckier than him because I have not had anyone cry-laugh at the horror of my haircut. Yet.

Reflecting on this experience, I suppose I did learn a thing or two from a bad haircut:

I learned it is perhaps not the smartest to get your hair cut the Friday before you PCS to a new state. I know I should have gone back to the stylist and had her fix it, but at that point my nerves were shot as we were en route moving across this country. I just couldn’t do it. 

I learned that just because you say you don’t want a Mom Bob, it doesn’t mean that your stylist won’t give you a Mom Bob. I tried to dress cool so she would realize I should get a cool haircut, but it looks like it failed on that front. And really on the back, too. 

I learned that if the stylist took a before and won’t take an after picture, they might not be proud of their work either.

I learned that ponytails everyday are just find for the short term. Long term, I need some new hair goals. But right now, I am having trust issues finding a stylist. 

Someday, I will laugh about this. Maybe I’ll even think of it as fondly as the other situations I listed above. For now, I’m taking my lessons and moving on, hoping for quick regrowth.

Can you wear a hat to a military ball? Asking for a friend. . .